When to Be Concerned About Forgetfulness and Memory Loss

Memory loss is a normal part of aging, but how much is too much?

Forgetfulness affects all of us at one time or another. Maybe you were rushing to leave the house this morning and forgot — again — where you left your car keys. Or you spent at least 5 minutes looking for your reading glasses, only to realize they were hanging on the chain around your neck the whole time.

Some degree of memory loss like slowed memory retrieval or memorization skills is a common part of aging and occasional memory lapses are usually harmless. But certain patterns of forgetfulness can point to something more serious like dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

“There’s a difference between typical memory changes as we age and those associated with dementia,” says Glen Finney, MD, a behavioral neurologist at Geisinger. “When memory loss begins to interrupt your ability to work, live independently or socialize, there’s cause for concern. It’s always good to keep an eye on your health and ask questions — and while certain things may take longer to learn and recall, other signs should prompt you to call your doctor.”

When memory loss is normal

We’ve all had moments when we couldn’t remember something simple, like someone’s name, only to have it come to us later. These changes in memory can be irritating, but they are common and manageable — and don’t cause a major disruption to your daily life.

“Memory slips like this are common,” says Dr. Finney. “The key is that it comes back to you eventually and that you didn’t completely forget. If it’s harder to remember or think things through than it used to be, even when you give yourself all the time you need with no distractions, you may need to see your doctor.”

If what you notice falls into any of these categories, your memory is likely nothing to worry about and doesn’t indicate onset of dementia.

Forgetting facts over time

Memory has a use-it-or-lose-it quality. Memories that are called up and used frequently are the least likely to be forgotten, but the opposite also can be true. For example, if it’s been a while since you’ve done complex math, it might be hard to remember how to do it. This is called “transience.”

“This may not be a bad thing or sign of memory weakness,” says Dr. Finney. “Researchers speculate it may be the brain’s way of clearing unused memories and making room for new and more useful information or memories.”

Being absent-minded

Forgetting for a moment why you walked into a room or misplacing items (like your car keys or phone) in a common place is a sign that your brain didn’t secure the details. This is likely because you were distracted, perhaps thinking of something else instead, and didn’t pay close enough attention.

Sometimes what seems like a memory problem is really an attention problem. It happens to us all, especially if we’re particularly tired, busy, sick or stressed. Try retracing your steps to help your memory when this happens to you. Also, focus on being more present to help strengthen your memory.

Difficulty retrieving a memory in the moment

The speed of memory retrieval slows down as we age, and there may be times when you’re temporarily unable to retrieve a memory; it’s on the tip of your tongue. For example, it might take you longer to remember specific information like the name of a restaurant you visited last week.

This is called “blocking,” and it might happen if a stronger memory that’s similar gets in the way. This competing memory may be so intrusive that you can’t think of the memory you want.

“It’s a common reason older people have trouble remembering other people’s names or a word in conversation,” says Dr. Finney. “When this happens, try to relax. Then, eventually, the memory will usually come back to you.”

Forgetting minor details or having inaccurate memories

Find yourself remembering part of a memory, but not all of it? Or maybe you get some of the minor details wrong.

This is called “misattribution.” As you grow older, your memories do, too. And old memories are especially prone to misattribution. It can be frustrating but be open to someone else’s recollection of a particular event and try not to get upset with yourself for forgetting.

Memories also are subject to suggestibility, meaning that something you learn about the memory after creating it can change how you recall it. If this happens only once in a while, it’s not a cause for concern.

When memory loss is a concern

Forgetfulness is a normal part of aging, dementia is not. While forgetting things easily is a common symptom, there are key signs that may indicate dementia beyond simple memory lapses.

“People who have memory loss symptoms that affect their day-to-day function may have dementia,” says Dr. Finney. “Dementia is an umbrella term that describes a set of severe symptoms that impact memory, thinking, reasoning, judgment and social abilities that interfere with daily life.”

If you or a loved one have the following symptoms frequently, it might be time to talk with your doctor.

Memory problems that impair daily living

Common examples of memory loss that impacts daily living might include:

Forgetting things you just recently learned
The need to have something repeated frequently
Asking the same question multiple times or repeating yourself frequently
Having trouble following directions
Increasingly needing to rely on memory aides and notes to remember simple tasks when you never had to before
Struggling to take care of yourself, such as eating poorly, not bathing or behaving unsafely

When your memory impacts your daily life, working with your doctor to find a diagnosis can lead to treatment that can help.

Getting lost in familiar places

Increasing confusion with familiar faces or places you know well can be concerning. This can include not being able to find your way through your favorite park, getting lost on your way to work or forgetting how you got somewhere.

“Though some people may be embarrassed to admit when they get lost in a familiar place, coming to your doctor about a problem like this can help you stay safe in the future,” says Dr. Finney.

Misplacing objects in unusual places

Frequently being unable to find an object even after retracing your steps, or finding something in an unusual spot (such as your car keys in the refrigerator), may indicate a memory problem that requires working with your doctor.

Trouble with conversation

While trouble recalling words in conversation is typical, having trouble following or joining in on a conversation can point to a more significant issue. This can include losing a train of thought in the middle of a conversation, repeating yourself or frequently struggling with vocabulary. You also may use the wrong name for a familiar object like calling “watch” a “hand clock.”

When to contact your doctor about memory loss

Some causes of dementia, like Alzheimer’s disease, are progressive, meaning memory loss symptoms get worse over time. But other causes can be treated if caught early enough. Even treatments for Alzheimer’s disease in mild stages can slow the rate of worsening.

There are many conditions — not only Alzheimer’s disease — that can cause memory loss in older adults. So, talk to your doctor if you or someone you love has noticed changes in your memory, especially:

Memory lapses that are affecting daily activities and relationships
Changes in behavior, mood or personality
Forgetfulness that’s occurring alongside other symptoms, such as trouble concentrating, changes in vision or speech difficulties
If there’s a family history of dementia or neurological disorders

Your doctor can run cognitive tests to assess function, determine the degree of memory loss and diagnose the cause. Early intervention can determine the best course of action to help manage symptoms effectively and improve your quality of life.

“While it can be a scary possibility to consider and hard to talk about, diagnosing dementia early can allow you to make plans for your future care with your loved ones,” says Dr. Finney. “It allows you and the people close to you to have a framework for making decisions, adapt to changes you’re experiencing and avoid difficult choices in the future.”