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Sex drive shifted into park? One of these issues could be the culprit

It’s normal to lose interest in sex from time to time, especially as you age. In fact, it may not be a big deal to you if you’re comfortable with it.

But if a dip in your libido, also known as sex drive or desire for sex, is affecting your daily life — or causing a rift with a partner — know there are ways to get things going again.

Symptoms of low libido

Everyone has a different level of sexual desire, but you’re the expert on your body. You may find you:

  • Don’t want to have sex as often as you once did
  • Don’t think about sex or lack sexual fantasies
  • Have trouble getting or staying aroused or having an orgasm

If these changes are causing you stress or creating strain on your relationship with your partner, you’re not alone.

“Low sex drive in women is common and can be caused by many things,” explains Sabrina Whitehurst, MD, OB-GYN at Geisinger Lewistown Hospital. 

The first step to improving your sexual health? Finding the root cause.

Low sex drive: Common causes for a common issue

Low libido happens. If things are awry with your physical or emotional health, for example, your desire for sex is likely to take a hit. The good news: It’s treatable.

“Finding the root cause can lead to effective treatment — often, it’s as simple as changing a medication you’re taking,” says Dr. Whitehurst.

Here are some common causes for low libido in women:

You’re on birth control

Most birth control pills contain the hormones estrogen and progestin. If you’re taking a pill with both, it may lower your level of testosterone — the hormone that drives your sexual desire.

Beyond the pill, hormones are also found in other kinds of birth control that could affect your sex drive, including Depo-Provera®, the vaginal ring, implants and some IUDs. Your doctor, primary care physician or OB-GYN may be able to adjust or change your birth control method or prescription to help you.

You’re taking other medications

Several medicines are known to decrease desire for sex, including SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). SSRIs work by raising the levels of serotonin in your body, making you feel more calm and less anxious. This can also lower your libido.

Other drugs that may cut your desire are some medications used to treat high blood pressure, seizures or cancer, or those that block the effects of testosterone. 

“There are other medications and physical factors, like an underlying medical condition, that may lower your sex drive,” adds Dr. Whitehurst. “Your primary care physician or OB-GYN can suggest new prescriptions or dosages and help you manage any medical conditions that may be impacting your well-being.”

You’re pregnant or nursing a baby

If you’re pregnant, just had a baby or are breastfeeding, your sexual desire may be low due to changing hormones. “Fatigue, changes to your body and the stress of being a new parent may also cause a dip in your libido,” adds Dr. Whitehurst. “This is normal, especially for the first few months after giving birth.”

You’re approaching or in menopause

As you age, your body makes less of key hormones. Even before you stop menstruating you may have symptoms from lower hormone levels — a phase called perimenopause. This phase can last anywhere from 2 to 10 years, but around 4 years is more common. During perimenopause and menopause, you may have less desire for sex, or you may have trouble getting or staying aroused. Another common issue is vaginal dryness, which can lead to uncomfortable sex, or you may have trouble holding urine.

“If you’re feeling pain during sex, or decreased sex drive is causing you concern, your doctor can help,” says Dr. Whitehurst. “Don’t be afraid to speak up. There are treatment options.”

Your mental health could use some attention

When you don’t feel good — whether because of untreated anxiety or depression, high stress, poor body image or low self-esteem — sex is likely the last thing on your mind.

“And if you’re coping with stressors by smoking, drinking alcohol or using other substances, your physical health will also be worse as a result,” adds Dr. Whitehurst. 

If your mental health is taking a toll on your overall well-being, it’s time to talk to your doctor. “A therapist can help you manage any mental health conditions and teach you healthy ways to cope with stressors,” says Dr. Whitehurst.

You’ve survived past childhood trauma

It’s not surprising that sexual trauma can impact your desire for sex. But studies are also finding women who had other kinds of childhood trauma tend to have less libido in later life, as well as other health issues.

Trauma can include being physically or emotionally abused, witnessing violence or having significant instability when parents divorced or were incarcerated. You didn’t choose to endure these events, but you can choose to seek therapy or other support options and build a healthier future.

Issues in your romantic relationship

For many women, emotional closeness is essential for intimacy. So having problems with your partner could cause a lower-than-normal sex drive.

A lack of connection, unresolved conflicts or trust issues are all good reasons to seek marriage counseling or couple’s therapy. With guidance, you can work together to resolve the issues — and focus on building your relationship back up. 

“Counseling can also be helpful to communicate and decrease stress if you or your partner have medical issues like fatigue, chronic pain or erectile dysfunction,” says Dr. Whitehurst. 

When the problem is simply lack of time or effort, set aside time for connection and intimacy. It can go a long way toward spicing up your love life.

Treating low libido — you have options

No matter what’s causing your low sex drive, there are ways to improve it.

Your primary care doctor or OB-GYN can help identify any physical factors that may be causing your low libido. From there, they can suggest:

  • Lifestyle changes, including healthy stress management, smoking cessation or decreased alcohol use. Mindfulness techniques may also help you manage stress and stay in the moment.
  • Medication changes, either by tweaking existing medications or prescribing new ones. Medication can also help you manage any underlying medical conditions, including symptoms of perimenopause or menopause.
  • Therapy — either as an individual or as a couple — so you can work toward healing and managing any personal or relationship issues that may be causing your low sex drive.

The bottom line? “If your low libido is bothering you, it’s worth talking to your doctor about,” says Dr. Whitehurst.

Next steps: 

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