How to Support Someone in Recovery from Addiction

Learn how to help someone in recovery and stay healthy yourself

Recovery is a process, not an end state.

For people who decide to seek help for addiction, completing an addiction treatment program is just the beginning.

Recovering from addiction — and achieving long-term sobriety — is a one-step-at-a-time, lifelong journey. And it’s one that’s much easier with the support of friends and loved ones.

While you can't control someone else's choices, you can learn how to help someone in recovery.

Maintaining recovery and sobriety — together

Every person’s recovery is unique. Not every situation will have a clear answer, but long-term sobriety is worth it.

Kimberly Kabernagel, DO, medical director at Geisinger Marworth, offers tips to help you navigate this journey together:

Educate yourself on addiction and recovery

One of the best ways to support someone in recovery is by educating yourself as much as possible. You can start with credible online resources, like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website.

Addiction is a disease that involves changes in the brain and body. To help you understand what your loved one is going through, learn about:

Your loved one’s particular addiction
Potential physical and psychological changes
What the treatment and recovery process look like

Be patient and encouraging

When someone finishes addiction treatment, it’s common to hope that everything will get back to normal.

“In reality, everyone involved must work toward a new normal,” says Dr. Kabernagel.

Recovery is a lifelong journey, and it’s full of ups and downs. Your friend or loved one will have good and bad days, weeks and months — and they’ll need time and space to focus on themselves and their recovery.

Dr. Kabernagel offered these tips:

If they confide in you, listen closely and be understanding.
Instead of criticizing, try to be kind, nonjudgmental and encouraging.
Slip-ups will happen. And when they do, step up your support and let them know you believe they can get back on track.

Plan sober activities to do together

Support from loved ones can make all the difference in maintaining sobriety, especially in the first few months after treatment.

“If you live together, keep the environment substance-free. And don’t invite them to parties or gatherings where there might be triggers. Instead, find sober activities to do together,” Dr. Kabernagel encourages.

Invite them on a hike, hit the gym together or plan a board game or movie night. New hobbies and activities can help your loved one learn how to have fun without using substances. They also help provide a positive distraction as they work to build a new, sober life.

Build healthy habits. When your loved one was in active addiction, they likely neglected their health. Work together on healthy eating habits by finding new recipes and cooking them together. Encourage going to bed early. Walk outdoors or exercise together.

Help your loved one avoid common triggers

A trigger is something that brings up memories of past drug or alcohol use. It can be an emotion, something in the environment or a social situation.

Stay fed, rested, calm and connected: It's hard to maintain sobriety when you’re hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Help your loved one plan meals, connect with them often and encourage a regular schedule with plenty of rest.
Learn coping skills for stress: Everyone faces life stress. Use tools like exercise, breathing techniques, gratitude journaling or self-compassion. This can help you as well as your loved one.
Never encourage use: Don’t encourage your loved one to have “just one” or use “just tonight.” Addiction is a chronic condition. Just one use can derail months of work toward a sober life.
Avoid places or people that encourage use: Help your loved one stay away from the people or places that were part of their use. Talk with your loved one about situations they find challenging. They may need to avoid certain friends or family members. Respect and support these choices.

If your loved one relapses, it's not your fault

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could force our loved ones to stay sober? But we can't control others' behavior.

“Instead, focus on what you can do to support them and don’t assume responsibility for their choices,” says Dr. Kabernagel.

Relapse happens, so it’s a good idea to recognize the signs. Relapse is a process, so knowing the signs might help you direct them back on track.

If you have a close relationship, you can also offer to join their support group or 12-step meetings. Actively participating in their recovery is a great way to show you’re serious about being there for them.

Take care of yourself, too

If you’re close to someone with an addiction, you’ve likely put a lot of time and energy into helping them. In doing so, you may have neglected yourself.

“When you don’t take care of yourself, it can lead to resentment and stress, which won’t be healthy for either of you,” advises Dr. Kabernagel. “Don’t hesitate to seek therapy, counseling or a support group.”

Counseling or therapy can help you set healthy boundaries while staying calm, collected and reassuring. And that’s just what your loved one needs.

When you want to support someone in recovery, it’s all about being there for them — for the good and bad days. Recovery is possible. And your support can fuel their motivation and determination to take back their life and truly enjoy it.